I'm sitting here tonight breathing paint fumes...well, actually, I just got done with the 3rd coat of oil-based enamel on two doors inside! I was catching up on some of my favorite blogs and I started thinking...I know, I know, better not to think too much when you're breathing paint fumes and staying up too late again.
Anyway...I started thinking about how most of my relationships work these days. To be honest, I only really TALK to a small handful of people. I keep updated on everyone else's life through a blog or through something like Facebook. It's really kind of sad. I spend all this time on the internet checking up on people "secretly". Unless I leave a comment, they don't even know I know about their lives. And the same thing is happening to me. Lots of people are out there checking on me and my family and yet, I don't even know it! We could actually be having a conversation, but we choose anonymity. I wonder why?
I choose anonymity for several reasons.
1. Because I'm not sure how much of a relationship I want to have with some of these people. Maybe it's enough to sneak a peak at what's going on in their lives and never make formal contact.
2. Because I seem to only have time for friends at 10:30pm! No one wants to be called then!
3. Because anonymity is safer. I have almost no chance of being betrayed or hurt if I don't interact with people and let them into my life. Of course, I also have no chance of really getting to know these people and living life alongside them.
Question...do I want to let people be involved in my life? Do I want people to know what I struggle with, what I love, what I don't like, what frustrates me, what drives me? I'm not sure I even know the answers to those questions so it scares me to try to explore that with others that I'm not sure I want to trust.
Hmmm....if you have the answers, I'd love to hear them.
Love, Monica
